Friday, November 25, 2011


Sarah McLachlan - Angel 

"Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here"

Good Morning and welcome to a cool wet morning in my fair city - it is lovely and with the gentle rain there comes a silence and a beauty that I cherish.

I really really like this song - I have been given my second chance and truly feel that I have been "pulled from the wreckage" and now have the opportunity to live, laugh, love and to FLY !

My surgery pulled me from the wreckage and gave me the gift of life and I shall be eternally thankful for everything involved with that.    More recently I feel I have been pulled from the wreckage of lots of emotions and my heart is a much happier place.   It amazes me how that sharing of emotions, fears and affection can be so healing.  Life is good, life is sweet and I am "at home with myself.  I hope that you are able to work through your fears and emotions and find that special "at home" feeling.   

As I write it is morning in Australia and in the United States it is the evening of Thanksgiving and I can imagine there are lots of very full tummies and thankful hearts.  I wish we in Australia celebrated Thanksgiving - just a day set aside for expressing thanks for all that we have and all that we are.   I may well establish this with my family - a dinner where we can share the love and happiness of family and each express something for which we are thankful.
Too much going on for a little while to do it - but perhaps a winter celebration in 2012 will become our own "Thanksgiving".

I have my Clinic appointment this afternoon and the butterflies are alive and well in my tummy - but I am trying to shoo them away - I go to a medical team I like, Coordinators I adore and if there was an issue with my bloods taken on Monday - I would have known by now.  I think this is part of the fragile thread that recipients live with and yet life is that way for all of us - Today is all we have.

Take today and live life to the full - say the things you want to say to your loved ones -  Say "I love you" 
"I am thankful for you" and "I care"  It may not be something normally said in your family - but I know my girls never hang up the phone until "I love you" has been said.  Their Dad is something different - he hasn't quite got to the stage of being able to express his feelings - they know he loves them dearly, but a childhood where affection was not shown accounts for that.   I know that he loves them and that is special.

I am a lover not a fighter and a talker - I like to talk things through openly and fully until there is nothing more to be said and I am thankful to special people who have helped pull me from the wreckage by talking and sharing with me.  Walk tall and proud and I love you.

Christmas is just around the corner and I have several little traditions I keep - firstly my Advent Tree which has little tiny decorations to be hung on each day from 1st. December.  Each little tiny drawer holds a tiny trinket which is added daily.

My other tradition is that from 1st, December for breakfast I use my special coffee mug and matching plate and everyone knows not to use this one - "It's Mum's"

This was a gift from a friend no longer with us to share our Christmas time but who is often thought of and with me each day of Advent.

Christmas gift shopping is finished for me and now comes the joy of wrapping - I did wrap two gifts yesterday for Grace and Henry and sent them to the Farm with their Grandpa - hope he remembers to give them to their Mum and not directly to the children.

Time for me to move on and meander through my ordinary, beautiful Friday -  and then the weekend will be upon us and one task I have set for this weekend is to write and mail out the Christmas cards for a group exchange.  I did the envelopes one evening this week and they have disappeared never to be seen again - so I have done another lot.  The Christmas Elves are out and about I think - someone remind them about the Checking of the List - not only once but twice.

Thanks for visiting and reading and sharing the Musings from My Heart - a heart filled with thankfulness.

Love and hugs,

No comments: