Tuesday, December 27, 2011

RUBY TUESDAY AND YOU RAISE ME UP


Good Afternoon and welcome to Ruby Tuesday - an overcast day here in Adelaide and a very quiet day too.  My family are  now in the middle of the post Christmas Social Whirl of catching up with lots of friends and I am in awe of the energy  - I guess I had it once, but I don't now.  I have taken today very quietly and done some work on my PC.  I actually have lots of things to put away - but they can wait - I chose this day to spend here and to nurture my inner self.

I have been doing lots of thinking and there have been so many beautiful things happen to me recently and I have listened carefully to the concerns of those who love me.   Joe was concerned I would crash and burn, and Rebecca felt that once Christmas was over I would fall into a great big hole.  Well thus far, neither of these things has happened.   I am tired but that's to be expected and I am very contemplative at this time of year and that's to be expected too - but certainly not fallen in a big hole.

I am blessed abundantly with people who love me - just as I am, and that's when I need them most.  I value the love, support, care and advice that they offer to me.

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up, to more than I can be.

You raise me up, to more than I can be.

As a Mother I gave my children roots to ground them and wings that they may fly and I am happy to let them fly now - and not to burden them with my emotions and thoughts.  

Over this last weekend I have spoken to most of my kids and it is only really now that I realize how difficult it was for them when I was so ill and the prognosis was not good.   I think they have coped well and dealt with it all and come through it well - but they don't wish to revisit and go over things and I value and respect that.

I give thanks each and every day for a friend who has been to the edge too, who understands the emotion of liver transplant, who also has seen the pain in the eyes of his loved ones and who is so glad to be alive and knows what it is to face his own mortality.   I have been loved through all of my journey and especially at times when I was unlovable, and that's when I needed it most of all.

Joey - you have been to the edge too and understand when I say "I am changed"  I am "different" and this post is for you - you understand how medications affect us and how fatigue is an issue.  Thank you for taking my hand and walking the path with me - you are amazing and I am glad you are part of my life.   I love you for who you are and for what I become when I spend time with you.

I love the humour, the music and the very special friendship we share - the journey has been worthwhile to be gifted with such a special friend - I hope that in part I can be some of these things for you as we travel on together on the road post transplant.  It is a ride on the wild side and I am glad you are my travelling companion.

Pensive my thoughts may be, and they are going to be, because it is this time of year that I was so ill and transplant took place.    I have travelled far and had the most wonderful support network and the only words that cut it for me, are that I am thankful.

Thank you for visiting the Musings from my Heart, a pensive and thankful heart at this special time of year.

Joey - you are a man among men and I love you  - You raise me up to more than I can be.

Love and hugs,
Linda

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