DARLING I AM GROWING OLD (ER)

Good Morning from my little corner of the world where, after a very grey few days, the sun is shining and the sky is blue.   It is very welcome and much appreciated.  The nights are colder and with clear open skies of course the temperature comes down.   It was, shall we say "crisp" this morning but very beautiful.

My beautiful "Eiffel Tower" pink rose is continuing to bloom and I thought I had picked "the last rose of summer" some weeks ago but it continues to bring beauty to even those grey days.

I spent yesterday afternoon with a group of women and among us was a dear soul whose eyes have lost their sparkle and whose mind is no longer clear - advanced stages of Altzheimer's Disease, and it got me thinking of growing older and what the future holds.

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional is as phrase I have often heard, but never really given much thought to until now. Yes I am growing older and my hair is no longer the lovely brunette with red highlights that it was and there are lines on my face and my skin is "different".  But and it is a very big BUT - I am alive and my hair is coloured often (I'll take all the help I can get) and the lines on my face tell a story of my journey and at times I notice a dimple still there when I smile.   My skin is functional not decorative but I am blessed in so very many ways that I don't think this growing older is too bad at all.

I can find joy in so many things about growing older - and a very big plus for me is being able to laugh at myself for the silly things I say and do.

Being able to get up in the morning and think "What shall I do today" and not have to rush to the Office and miss the glorious days outside.

I find joy in the simplest of things and am learning to worry less and laugh a lot more.    I have learned much during my life and particularly in the past three years about tolerance, compassion, care and understanding.

I have learned that love comes in through doors you didn't even realize you had left open and that friendship is a treasured gift.  I have learned even more to let my girls go and make their own lives, but I do enjoy it when they ask for advice or ask me to cook something special for them.   Even today is special because Naomi and Alexis are coming home from Melbourne and have asked us to pick them up from the Airport.   Those little things remind me that they still need me but in different ways than before.

I have learned that if I don't make my bed the world doesn't go into a holding pattern and if there are dishes on the sink that they will get done eventually.

I have discovered the joys of coffee and a good book in the warmth of the sun for what starts off to be half an hour and develops into much longer.  The delight of a cool shower in the middle of a hot night and ice cream for breakfast when the temperature sizzles.

I enjoy the company of little children very much - but can be honest enough to say that whilst "I love children I couldn't eat a whole one" and that shopping without them is delightful and when they go home the relief and peace is audible.

I love splashing in puddles and dancing in the rain, walking barefoot through the grass and the delights of being silly with one who understands me.  Silly is good and imagination is wonderful and I have not lost the ability for both.

With growing older comes the freedom to stay up late, sleep in late or do crossword puzzles for half the day.   

I love the honesty that comes with being older - I don't have to make an impression - I am here, I am alive and I am me and I have got to the stage where I like me - I think I am doing fine.    I am accepting challenges that I could not have done before and slaying dragons that have haunted me for almost a lifetime.  I am who I was born to be. 

I will find my way albeit I may need some help and I am thankful that I have such special help, care, advice, love and  support - you know who you are - Thank you.

How are you travelling along the aging pathway?  Are there thorns and brambles on your path?   I hope that clarity comes for you soon and that you are able to enjoy every part of living and that the things you have learned on your journey will serve you well for future days.  Live in today - not in your past, you can't change things or undo them.

On that happy note I shall close this musing from my heart - a heart today filled with gratitude for so many many things and a heart filled with love and life.

Love and hugs,

Linda